Infatuation
by Angel Leviathan
Summary: Careful what you touch...... you might become addicted.
1. Attraction?

Title: Infatuation

Author: Angel Leviathan

Disclaimer: SG-1 isn't mine.

Spoilers: Anything, everything.

Season: 5

****

Notes: Back from SG-7 and I think my SG-1 muse has returned! Finally! So I decided to finally write this. Possibly because the line "I'm addicted to you" from 'Toxic' (even though I dislike the singer) has been going round in my head for the past week too. May be somewhat random, but hope you enjoy all the same.

-

"So, Daniel's having fun with the wonderful new alien language, Teal'c is doing his 'defending the area' routine and you're once again ecstatic over this new technology, right Carter?"

Sam looked up at him, blinking to try avoiding the glare of the sun, "Yes, Sir. Why?"

"Just checking it's a normal day, that's all," Jack replied with a half grin.

"….'Loved one',….." Daniel muttered under his breath, half sitting several feet away and staring intently at a lone section of rock.

"I know I am, Daniel, but you getting anywhere with that translation?" Jack quipped.

"Very funny," the archaeologist replied, "That's all I have so far. Either that or 'love you'," he looked back at Jack, "Make comments about that and I'll leave this all to you…" he mock threatened.

"Or you can do this for me, Sir," Sam joined in, "Just don't get electrocuted."

"Alright, that's enough from you two," Jack tried his 'angry glare' but couldn't stop from issuing a short laugh, "Any further comments will be taken offensively!"

"Had you not already, O'Neill?" Teal'c looked back at the group.

He sighed, "Why do I put up with you guys?"

Sam grinned and looked back down at the device she was fiddling with, "Because you love us really, Sir?" 

Jack debated this for a few seconds, then nodded, "That would have to be it, Major," he answered drolly.

"…..I think I'm gonna cry,….." Daniel sniffed sarcastically.

"I said enough already!"

"Ow!" Sam jumped and quickly drew her hands away from the circular device in front of her, frowning at it.

"Carter?" Jack questioned.

"…..I don't know, Sir," she said slowly. The device in question was now humming in a curious pitch, several lights now flickering. Reaching her hands back toward it, she looped her right hand underneath it to see if she could disconnect anything.

"Maybe you shouldn't be doing that."

"Its okay, I'm only-" she didn't get to finish as she was enveloped in a sapphire light, a surge of energy appearing to pass through her, before the device fell silent, along with Sam, who fell to the floor without a word.

"Shit!" Jack swore, dropping to the ground and rolling Sam from her front onto her back, "Carter?" he checked for her pulse, "Carter? Come on, wake up, snap out of it!" he tried.

"O'Neill?"

"Jack? Is she breathing?" Daniel stood behind him, worried.

"…..Yeah, heartbeat's playing up though." 

"Should we not return to the Stargate to call for assistance?" Teal'c proposed.

"Good plan," Jack mumbled, still staring down at the still form of Sam, concerned, "I wish she'd stop messing with this kind of stuff!" he exclaimed.

Sam chose that moment to mutter a curse and opened her eyes to slits, "…..Its good to know you guys don't talk about me behind my back."

"Carter! Don't scare me- us, like that!" Jack snapped, his relief taking the form of false anger.

She opened her eyes fully and stared up at him, her iris' pulsing a lighter blue for an instant, "…..Sorry," she coughed.

Jack blinked, a little taken aback at the sudden change in her eyes, "Carter?"

"Sir?"

"Teal'c?" he glanced behind him.

"O'Neill?"

"Sense anything?"

Teal'c frowned more than usual, as if the Colonel were mad, "I do not sense anything out of the ordinary, O'Neill….."

"Let's head back," Daniel stated, "We can always come back, we want to make sure you're okay, Sam."

"I only got electrocuted," she countered.

"'Only got electrocuted'," Jack shook his head, "Think you can make it back to the 'Gate?"

"Yes, Sir," she nodded and stood up, noticing the sudden attention they were all paying to her, "Guys, its nice to have your undying affection, but I'm fine, really."

"We're still heading back," Jack said firmly.

"Can we take it with us?" she pointed to the device.

"Its anchored to the ground, Carter!"

"…..Yes, Sir."

"Come on, if we head back now we might just catch The Simpsons. And that documentary you wanted to pick apart," Jack proposed.

"Each to his or her own," Daniel said wryly, taking the lead.

"I'm sure Doctor Frasier will be pleased to see us," Teal'c commented.

"Yeah," Jack muttered, "The amount of time we spend in her Infirmary, we should be paying her rent."

-

"No burns? No headache? No blurry vision?" Janet questioned, firing symptoms at Sam, attempting to diagnose how the device had affected her, if at all, "Anything?" she continued, exasperated.

"Nothing," Sam shook her head, "Not even a scratch."

"The Colonel says you were electrocuted and fell unconscious!"

"Only for a couple of minutes. And I remember everything before and after."

"And you don't feel anything different?" Janet pressed.

"I'm tired. But then, I'm always tired at some point or another," Sam replied with a yawn.

"Are you lying to get out of here, Sam?" 

"No!"

"You've all tried it at some point….."

"Honestly, Janet, I feel fine. Strange though it is, I feel perfectly normal," Sam assured her.

"Well you're not leaving this base tonight in-case you don't feel so good later, okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am," she quipped.

"You're all in one of those moods aren't you?" Janet laughed, "Go on then, get out of here, go eat or whatever you want to do!"

"Thanks Janet," Sam hopped down off the bed and hugged her friend briefly, before swiftly vanishing from the Infirmary.

"I swear they spend too much time together….."

-

Instead of going to the commissary to eat, hungry as she was, she thought she'd better go see the Colonel and apologise for 'messing around' with the strange device and assure him that she was okay, despite what they all thought. Sam knocked gently on the door to his office, surprised that he was actually in there, rather than hiding from work somewhere, "Sir?"

"The Doc let you go that quick?" Jack narrowed his eyes as she shut the door behind her.

"She can't find anything abnormal 'yet' and I feel fine," she shrugged.

"You were electrocuted!"

"I've been through worse," she smiled.

"Well we're not going back, or anywhere for that matter, until we're all sure you're okay," Jack stated, stacking the papers on his desk with distaste. 

"Yes, Sir….." Sam approached him slowly, a half smile still on her face.

He frowned, "Carter?"

"…..Whatever you say," she strode around the desk and ran a finger along his jaw-line.

Jack's eyes widened, "What's going on?"

"Nothing….." she lowered her lips to his and kissed him thoroughly.

Reciprocating for a second, he stopped himself and tried to push her away, "Carter!?"

She was still millimetres from him, practically on top of him, "…..Don't tell me you don't want this….." she whispered, her arms around his neck, attempting to kiss him again.

Jack actually fell out of his chair, pulling her down with him, staring as she tightened her grip on him and smiled innocently…

"Colonel?" a voice at the door made him jump, but Sam didn't appear to notice anything!

She kissed him again, more passionately, as if she'd never stop, which he wouldn't be complaining about if it wasn't so sudden. Still trying to prise her off him, the door opened to reveal Janet in the doorway, who took a step back at what she could see behind the desk, brown eyes wide.

"Sam!? Colonel!? Anybody care to tell me what's going on here?"

Sam fell limp against him for a second, before pushing herself up off the floor, staring down at Jack, "…..Oh my God," she uttered, "What's going on?"

"I was hoping you could answer that!" Janet exclaimed.

She sat up, catching sight of her friend, "Janet?"

"Sam?"

"Doc?"

"Colonel?"

"Sir?"

"Carter?"

"Anybody know what's going on here?" Jack asked, wanting an answer from either of the women present.

"What just happened?" Sam held a hand to her head, "Why," she blushed, "are we on the floor?"

-


	2. Experiments?

Notes: Thanks for all the reviews! I had no idea anybody would like this random idea I'm playing with. Not exactly sure how far to go with this yet...there's a story-line, but there's also another one if I panic and cant write it!

-

"...If I answered you, Carter, I think you'd probably want to harm me.." Jack mumbled.

"You feel fine, huh?" Janet had her hands on her hips, staring down at the two officers on the floor, "Evidently!"

"What?" Sam dragged herself away from Jack and sat against the wall, eyes wild, "What happened? I remember walking in and-"

"Stop there!" he warned.

Janet stepped forward and took the Major by the arm, "I think its back to the Infirmary for you, Sam."

"Why?" she allowed herself to be pulled off the floor, a confused expression on her face.

"..Maybe I'll explain to you when you're in a better state of mind..." the Doctor nodded once to Jack, "You too, Sir, leave it about ten minutes though."

"I hear ya!" he nodded, running a hand through his short hair, still stunned, scrambling to his feet.

"What!?" Sam started protesting, "I'm fine!"

"Let me be the judge of that," Janet continued to drag her away...

Jack was able to hear his 2IC complaining all the way down the corridor, still standing beside his desk, trying to figure out why in hell she'd just jumped him...

-

Janet sat her friend down on one of the beds, thankful that the Infirmary was empty for once, "Okay. Sam. Do you want to know what I saw in there?"

"Do tell."  
"What do you remember, exactly?"

Sam paused, "I remember I was going to tell the Colonel I was fine and apologise for getting zapped in the first place..." she grimaced, "Its all a little fuzzy after that."

Janet cleared her throat, "Sam...when I walked into the room you were practically on top of him..."

"What!?" she yelped.

"Hey," Janet hopped down off the opposite bed, holding up her hands in self defence, "You wanted to know!"

"I couldn't have been...I'd never..." Sam was shaking her head.

Her friend gave her a knowing look, "Never?"

"Janet..." she warned.

"Alright, I know," the Doctor admitted, "But it does mean that something _is_ wrong with you, evidently."

"You're saying that being electrocuted made me jump my CO?"

"I don't know," Janet shrugged, "But I'm running all of your tests again, considering they were clean all of fifteen minutes ago," she swiftly left the main Infirmary and entered her small office to retrieve Sam's records.

"...Right," Sam sighed, drawing her knees up onto the bed and lying back in defeat. Covering her eyes with one hand, she inwardly cringed.

"Hey Carter."

She almost jumped off the bed in surprise, instantly recognising the voice. Sitting up, she nodded a greeting, "Sir."

Jack stood a couple of feet away from her bed, looking down at the floor, uncertain of what do to, "So..."

"So..."

He finally looked up, only to have her grab him by the collar and drag his lips down to hers. This time he managed to stop her, detaching himself from her, only for her to loop one of her arms around his neck, Sam now kneeling on the edge of the bed and gazing up into his eyes, before she tried to kiss him again. Trying to hold her at arms length, Jack attempted to take a step back, except she rested her hands on his shoulders to prevent him 'getting away'.

"Why aren't you...?" she breathed, "Don't you want-" her head lowered and she abruptly released him, suddenly wondering where the hell she was.

Janet stood at the a few beds away, by the door, staring, "Are you playing some kind of joke here?"

Sam's head snapped back up, finding her arms still all over Jack, she jumped back, "Oh God...I didn't..."

"Making a habit of this, aint ya, Carter?" Jack quipped, by now actually looking a little scared.

The Doctor frowned, "Let me try something..." she turned and quickly walked back out of the Infirmary.

She was barely out of the room before Sam had draped herself over him again, a seductive smile on her face, about to kiss him, Jack standing absolutely still, trying to avoid her gaze, debating whether or not he should be enjoying this or not. Janet re-entered the room and Sam fell backward onto the bed, shocked.

"...Got a theory there, Doc?" Jack questioned.

"Aside from the obvious?" Janet answered. She stood over Sam's bed for a couple of seconds, making sure she was okay, before her friend covered her eyes again, blushing and muttering a few unsavoury curses, "Are you sure Sam was electrocuted?"

"Damn sure looked like it," Jack nodded, "the surge went right through her and-" he stopped, "Oh."

"Oh?" Sam muttered from her bed.

"...Her eyes flashed bright blue."

"The General said Daniel was taking and translating texts from the ruins, Sir?" Janet continued.

"Yeah."

"Do you think you could return, or at least, Daniel and another SG team, and try and get some information about whatever that device was?"

"I'll check with Hammond," Jack nodded, taking a step away from Sam, "Debriefing is in half an hour...Major..." he looked everywhere but her and quickly left the Infirmary.

Janet sat down on the edge of Sam's bed, "Well..."

"Don't start!"

"You have to admit it's a nice excuse."

"Yeah, if I were in control of it!" Sam exclaimed.

"You're only doing it when the two of you are left alone," Janet stated.

"You sure about that?" 

"No..." she admitted, "I guess we'll have to do some tests to find out. And whether its just the Colonel or...other..men..." she grinned slyly, trying to hide her expression.

"Janet!!"

-

"All I can say is that hopefully those ruins have some information with regard to Major Carter's condition," Janet finished, looking down at her notes, "All I have is what was on the Infirmary CCTV..."

"Which was, Doctor?" Hammond questioned.

Sam shot Janet a look that said everything from, "You dare!" to "I'm going to kill you slowly and painfully!"

Janet winced and unwillingly pressed 'play' on the video recorder, looking away as she did so. A thirty second clip of Sam all over the Colonel, Janet leaving and entering the room, and the reactions, played out in front of them.

Daniel couldn't help but laugh for a second, managing to turn it into a passable cough, Teal'c simply raised an eyebrow, Jack actually turned an unfortunate shade of red, not making eye contact with anybody, whilst Sam had her head in her hands.

"Well Major?" Hammond frowned.

"...I don't know, Sir," she said softly.

"We can only assume it has to do with the shock that was delivered when Major Carter touched the device," Janet interrupted.

"But it only happens when Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter are alone in a room?" he pressed.

"It would seem that way."

"And she doesn't react this way to other men?"

"No, Sir.." Sam hung her head, completely and utterly embarrassed.

"If its any consolation, I was the first person Carter saw after she was zapped," Jack offered.

"Is this true, Major?" the General continued.

"Yes, Sir."

Hammond sighed, "Since we have no other information to go on, you have permission to return to the planet. Except for you, Major."

"Yes, Sir."

He shook his head in disbelief, standing, "Dismissed," he left the room rather too quickly, if only to escape any further scenes.

"I'm going to have to get to grips with this language before I can get some definite information," Daniel informed Janet, standing and crossing to her side of the table, Teal'c leaving the room, headed for the control room.

"Its okay," she nodded, "Though I think Sam would appreciate it if you'd hurry..."

"I'll try," the two of them exited...

Jack looked across the table at Sam, who smiled in much the same manner as before, standing up, looking as if she might crawl onto the table.

"Daniel!" Jack yelped, if only to save Sam's dignity. In all honest, he was more than curious as to what would happen if he just let her...but that would be taking advantage, especially if she had no idea what she was doing and no control over it. Damned alien influence. And it wasn't even as if he could talk it over with her, alone.

Daniel glanced back, seeing the look of desperation on the Colonel's face, tapped Janet's shoulder and hurriedly stepped back into the room, watching and wincing as Sam hit her head on the table, covering it with her hands.

"Sorry, Sir!" she almost wailed.

"Don't worry about it, Carter," Jack answered, reaching across the table and giving her what he hoped was a friendly pat on the head, "...Just, erm...maybe we shouldn't be left alone, huh?"

-


	3. Addicted?

Notes: Woah! I wasn't expecting anywhere near that number of reviews! Thank you very much, guys! Eeep. Now I'm scared. Hope this lives up to expectations! :::panics::: Erm, this could go down the path of quite a lot of angst if I go with the proper plot… Oh yeah…I, er, made a rather depressing vid, that made me cry, for Heroes Part II, I wanted to do _something_ and that was what appeared. I think its one of my better ones, if not my best. If anyone wants to see, just say and I'll upload it to…somewhere. 

-

An hour! They'd only been gone an hour, _he'd_ only been gone an hour. Sam resisted the urge to throw something across her lab, pacing back and forth, a dull ache and a high pitched noise a constant presence in her head. And had been for the past ten minutes. About to connect two wires to the power supply, she stopped and stared at her right hand. It was shaking, and not just slightly. Another attempt to connect one of the wires made her increasingly frustrated, so much so that she used her left arm to sweep everything off the lab bench, sending crashing to the floor. Sam took several paces away from the bench, hands brought to her head in the sudden shock of her own actions. About to try dialling somebody, anybody, she jumped as somebody dashed into the room, staring.

"Sam?"

"Janet!" she almost shouted in relief.

"New way of doing things?" she looked a little stunned by the state of the floor.

Sam tried to hold her hands steady, the ache in her head seeming to increase by the second, "What's happening to me!?" she cried out.

"Sam?" she stepped toward her, taking hold of her wrists.

"Janet?" the room was spinning; she shook her head in an attempt to clear it, "What's…Where…" she whirled away from the Doctor, "Where _is he!?_" she shouted.

"Where's who, Sam?" Janet tried the gentle approach.

"_Him_!" she snapped.

She grabbed Sam's hand, "The Colonel? You want Colonel O'Neill?"

The Major nodded enthusiastically, "Where is he? Jan, Jan, Jan, _where is he?_" she almost begged.

"He's back on that planet, Sam…." Janet replied quietly.

A look of pain passed across Sam's face, "….That's too far…" she said in a mournful tone.

"Okay…" she paused in thought, "You want to come to the Infirmary with me?" she asked, unsure of how to deal with this 'version' of her friend.

Sam considered this for a few seconds, "Will _he_ be there?" she sounded almost childlike.

"…No…" Janet began, altering her tactics as she saw the expression on the other woman's face, "But I promise I'll go find him, okay?"

Sam leant against her for support, "…Okay."

-

"She's been like this for the past three hours, Sir," Janet sighed, "She's gone from depressed to paranoid, she even attacked two SF's and tried to leave the Infirmary, and that was just the beginning of the 'violent' stage…" she trailed off, "Major Carter is currently restrained and is back to…crying…Sir."

"Did she injure anybody?" Hammond demanded.

"No, Sir. Luckily, the two of them were stronger than her. She made quite state of the Infirmary before she was restrained though."

"You're saying she's calling out for Colonel O'Neill?" he couldn't quite believe this. Actually, if he was honest, he could believe that, due to the bond between the two officers (the one that he often had to tactfully ignore, though they usually did a pretty good job of keeping to the regs themselves, seeing as they'd never actually crossed the line), if anybody, Carter would call for him. Except he never expected it to be in such a disturbing manner and situation, one that could potentially incriminate them both. He supposed it was good fortune that alien influence was truthfully behind it this time.

"…Yes, Sir," Janet bobbed her head, looking away. It just felt like such a betrayal to be telling anything to anyone else, "I have no doubt that it has to do with the shock delivered to Sam. But, on the grounds of her mental and physical health, I advise that you re-call Colonel O'Neill from the field right now."

"She's a danger to herself?"

"…And to others, in this state."

Hammond sighed, "Very well. Contact will be made with SG-1 within the hour."

"As soon as possible, please, Sir," Janet added.

-

"Any progress?" Jack tried his 'casual' voice, leaning over Daniel's shoulder at the large slab of dark brown rock.

"Not since you asked me five seconds ago, no," Daniel replied, "As I said, all I know for sure, so far, is that whatever culture resided here distrusted women. Men dominated society and women, though they had rights, were not to be taken at face value."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"You don't have a way to stop Carter jumping me?" Jack coughed.

Daniel grinned slyly, "Not enjoying yourself."

"Watch it," he growled.

"Jack, if I were you, I'd use this opportunity. How long have you wanted this sort of thing for?" he shrugged.

"How long have you been mind-reading?" he countered, as usual, defending himself with sarcasm.

"One does not need to posses the power of telepathy to know that you care about MajorCarter a great deal," Teal'c stated, "And she about you."

"So I'm supposed to just let her humiliate herself and take advantage of her?" Jack stared, shaking his head, "No way. No way in hell am I-" he was about to continue, interrupted by his radio offering a burst of static.

__

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"O'Neill here. What'cha got for us, General?"

__

"SG-1 is ordered to report back immediately."

Daniel's shoulders sagged, "And just when I'm starting to make progress…"

"General, Daniel says he's making headway here. Any chance of an extension?"

__

"…Your presence is required," Hammond responded, not being able to come up with another way to put it.

"All of us?"

"I shall remain with DanielJackson if you are required, O'Neill," Teal'c offered, "The area is secure and there is no sign of inhabitants or dangerous wildlife."

"What's wrong, Sir?" Jack frowned.

__

"Major Carter has taken a turn for the worse."

"Sam?" Daniel stood up.

"A little more information, General?" Jack silenced the archaeologist.

__

"Colonel, if Doctor Jackson is making progress, he may remain, with Teal'c, if I heard correctly. SG-18 will be sent in as backup. Please return to the Stargate," Hammond sighed, exasperated.

"Yes, Sir," Jack nodded and turned back to his team-mates, "You heard the man. SG-18'll be here in a while," he started off, "Keep at it, Daniel, and try not to get eaten."

"Very funny."

-

"Is he here yet?" Sam pleaded, staring wide eyed up at Janet.

"Not yet, Sam," she replied with a shake of her head.

She fought against her restraints, "I _need _him!" she cried out.

"I know, Sam, I know, just wait a few more minutes."

Sam twisted away from Janet, "You lied. You said you'd find him…" she shut her eyes, "It _hurts!"_

"Where?" she asked, again.

"My head!!" Sam shouted.

"Calm down, Sam," Janet snapped quietly.

"No!"

-

"Well, Sir, I'm back…what's so urgent?" Jack frowned, halfway down the 'Gate ramp, halting as a figure rushed past everybody and threw itself at him at full speed, arms round him, holding him tightly.

Sam sighed contentedly and didn't move, closing her eyes.

He stared in shock, "…Well this is new."

Janet slowly approached, unsure of how Sam would react, "Sam? You feel any pain?"

She shook her head, still pressed tightly against Jack, "…Its dimming…" she sighed in relief.

"Carter?" Jack made an attempt to move and found himself totally unable.

"Hang on…" Janet blinked a couple of times, "General, permission to clear the 'Gate room?"

"…If Colonel O'Neill hands over his weaponry," Hammond replied through the speaker system.

"Sir?" she held out a hand.

Jack just about managed to unclip the P-90 and reached to remove the knife from his kit, holding them out to Janet, still worried that Sam still hadn't let go of him.

"Thank you, Sir," Janet started to walk away.

"Clear the 'Gate room," Hammond ordered.

The SF's reluctantly left the room, leaving the other two officers alone in the room. From a few paces away from the doorway, Janet frowned, "…She's not doing anything…"

Sam was still clutching her CO, head buried against his neck, eyes closed, a slight smile on her face.

"Doc?" Jack called.

"…Anything at all…" she pondered. Realisation dawned, "…She exhibited all the signs of withdrawal, Sirs…"

"Are you telling me Carter's addicted to me!?" he almost yelled in surprise.

"Sorry, Colonel, but…yes…it would appear that way," Janet answered.

Jack sighed and finally folded his arms around Sam, "…Anytime you want to kick the habit, Carter…"

-


	4. Trouble?

Notes: …Still in shock at the number of reviews! Thank you very much, again! For those of you who wanted to see the vid, I've uploaded it, but my host is messing around. Erm, this is going to start touching on a subject I didn't ever want to go near in later chapters, but I think its where this has to go. Thanks to Rini for helping me sort this out and reassuring me.

-

Half an hour later, Sam was comfortably asleep in the Infirmary, Jack by her bedside, Janet pacing back and forth in a rather frustrated manner.

"She went nuts?" he asked aloud for the third time.

"Yes, Sir," Janet nodded, "She was okay for a while, but I found her in her lab, shaking, and she went downhill from there…" she grimaced, "We actually had to restrain her at one point…"

"Restrain her?" he stared.

"She got to the violent stage of withdrawal rather quickly," she continued softly.

"And she wasn't jumping me this time?" 

"No, Sir…I'm not too sure about that yet…" she took a seat herself, "Daniel and Teal'c are still-"

"Daniel is still translating away…he doesn't have a lot yet, whether its for sure or not," Jack sighed.

"Do you know what he has so far, Sir?" Janet questioned.

Jack paused, "…Something about women being distrusted, male dominated society, the usual suspicious stuff," he waved a hand, stopping mid-air when he saw Sam stir.

"I was going to sedate her, but I don't how she would have reacted, mentally or biologically," Janet whispered.

Sam opened her eyes, slowly, peering around her, "Janet?"

"Here," she replied, "How do you feel?"

"…Better," she sat up slightly, catching sight of Jack, "…Sir?" she uttered softly. Sam jumped back a little, "…I apologise for my behaviour in the 'Gate room," she looked away.

"You remember that?" Jack frowned.

"…Yes, Sir."

"But you don't remember when you…erm…'attack' the Colonel?" Janet asked, blushing.

"…No."

She sat down on the edge of the bed, deep in thought.

Jack laid a hand on Sam's arm, silently accepting her apology, yet at the same time assuring her none was necessary, considering it was out of her control.

"Just a moment," Janet stood and left the room without another word.

Sam sat up properly and briefly entwined her fingers with Jack's, "I'm sorry, Sir, honestly I-"

"Carter?"

"…Sir?" she winced.

"Stop apologising."

Janet hurried back into the room, staring wide-eyed at them both, "Well?"

"Well what?" Sam prompted.

"Doc?" Jack questioned.

"Nothing happened!" she exclaimed, as if she were pointing out the obvious.

Jack blinked and suddenly grinned, "Well, it's a start."

"…I didn't do anything!" Sam smiled brightly.

"…Maybe it really is like a true addiction…" Janet pondered.

The smile left her face, "That doesn't sound good…"

"I mean you get withdrawal if you're deprived of…" the Doctor gestured toward Jack, "but once you have him back…and you erm…" she searched for a polite way to finish.

"…Get enough of me?" Jack dared to offer.

"Nicely put, Sir," Sam blushed.

"Right…then you get so intoxicated that you…go for the Colonel."

Sam coughed, "So, er, how's Daniel coming along with the translation, Sir?" she desperately tried to change the subject. Fair enough, she might have found the situation entertaining and somewhat enjoyable if she knew what she was doing, and when, but the fact that she didn't, coupled with the withdrawal and the fear that she would suddenly throw herself on him at any given moment…it wasn't exactly an enticing prospect. Plus…if she ever revealed what she really felt when she was 'out of control'…

"Something about a male dominated society and distrustful women," Jack answered.

"Typical…" she commented.

"Carter?"

"Nothing, Sir," Sam shook her head.

Jack glanced around, "…So…Carter…starting to feel high yet…?"

Sam shot him a glare, falling back against the pillows, not caring to dignify that with an answer.

-

"Oh this doesn't look good…" Daniel uttered, leaning away from the slab of rock he was attempting to transcribe.

"DanielJackson?" Teal'c prompted.

"Daniel?" Major Nozomi peered over his shoulder for a second, shaking her head, "I'll never know how you manage to understand this so quickly."

"Time, panic and the longing for a giant universal dictionary," Daniel gave a half grin in response, "But nobody's going to like the sound of this."

"Daniel, please, just tell us already," Captain Uzzell called across the site.

"…You know I said the women weren't trusted on this planet?" he began.

"Yeah," Nozomi nodded, "What of it?"

"…Well it looks like that device was some sort of 'test'."

"A test? For what purpose?" Teal'c looked overly concerned.

Daniel sighed, "…To see whether they were faithful or not."

"And how does that make Major Carter go for Colonel O'Neill?" Lieutenant Boshier asked.

"I'm not sure about that yet," he admitted, "But, from this, it looks like she has two choices…or rather, they have two choices," he seemed reluctant to speak and somewhat worried about whatever he had just discovered, one hand covering his face.

"Daniel…"

"Sam has to get what she 'wants'…" he finally managed to say, softly, "…or she'll go mad."

"Shit…" Uzzell was heard to curse.

"Well what does she 'want'?" Doctor Stewart questioned innocently, hoping the answer wasn't going to be the one she was expecting.

Daniel sat back against the rock in a defeated manner, "…What do you think?"

-

Sam was relieved to be finally released from the Infirmary after a further two hours, working, semi-concentrating, back in her lab, on some simple tasks she attempted, rather than risk breaking something expensive. She rested her head on her arms, sitting at the lab bench, trying to ignore the dull ache that had started up in the back of her head again. A few more moments of sitting with her eyes shut led her to the conclusion that the headache was what had started off her previous bout of reprehensible behaviour. Out of all the things that she had had happen to her over the past few years, alien influence or not, this had to be the most embarrassing and most intensely frustrating of the lot. Sighing, Sam stood up and left the room, in search of the Colonel, or Janet, whoever she could find first.

-

"I didn't think it could get any worse…" Daniel mumbled, ready to bang his head against the rock, silently cursing whatever culture had created such a device in as many languages as he could think of.

"…Well?" the CO of SG-18 asked gently.

"I get it. I get it now," he sighed, "…Okay; women were distrusted. Before any woman could be married, she'd be shocked with that thing," he waved in the general direction of the device in disgust, "to see whether she was faithful or not. And this is the really fun bit," he commented sarcastically, "the first man the woman saw that she truly loved would be the one she'd…well, the one I presume she'd do what Sam appears to do to Jack…"

"Oh God, this is going to get them both into so much trouble…" Stewart said aloud in a hushed whisper, closing her blue eyes in shock.

"And of course, they'd get married and they'd…" he trailed off into silence.

"We get it," Boshier nodded.

"And that would be that. It'd be out of her system…"

"And if her fiancé wasn't the one she went for?" 

Daniel ran his fingers across a line of text that had been worn away, several cracks evident throughout, "…From what this implies…she wasn't allowed anywhere near the other man…and slowly went…mad. Sometimes resolving itself in suicide…"

-

Sam entered his office without a world, silently sitting down opposite him in the free chair, looking down at the floor.

Jack looked up from the detested paperwork, "Carter?"

Sam coughed, "…Withdrawal, Sir."

He stared at her for a couple more seconds, "Oh…"

"Yeah," she waved her hands in an quickly animated fashion, "Headache, not wanting to go violent or, entertaining as it was to the rest of the base, have to start clinging to you again, Sir."

Jack stood up, crossing round to the other side of the desk, "Come here," he opened his arms.

She looked up at him, torn between hugging him in sheer relief, regardless of her 'addiction' and staying where she was out of principle. Giving in, Sam opted for standing and allowing herself to be folded into his arms, "…Sorry, Sir."

"What did I say earlier?" 

"…Stop apologising."

He held her tightly, thankful that he could do this before she went 'high' again, "…How are we going to resolve this, Carter?"

Sam nestled herself against him, closing her eyes, "…I don't know, Sir…"

-


	5. Consent?

Notes: Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm getting into what I never wanted to go into and every piece of my mind is telling me not to, I really didn't want to go down this path. But it's a little late now. So I'm really sorry if this upsets or offends anyone.

-

"Welcome back," Hammond greeted as SG-18, plus Daniel and Teal'c made their way down the 'Gate ramp, "Have you sufficient information to restore Major Carter to her former self?"

Daniel halted suddenly, "…You could say that."

"You managed to translate the information remaining on the ruins?"

"…Yes."

"And?"

He sighed, "With all due respect, I think Doctor Frasier needs to know what we learned as soon as possible…"

"Very well," the General nodded, "Head to the Infirmary, debriefing in an hour, SG-18 an hour later, Major."

"Yes, Sir," Nozomi replied.

"Good luck," Stewart whispered.

With Hammond safely out of earshot, Daniel muttered a response, "…I think they're going to need it."

"Daniel?" Janet was at the door to the 'Gate room, "Any progress?"

He shrugged, "A lot, not all of which you're going to like."

"We can't cure Sam?" 

__

"We cant, no."

Janet looked up at him, concerned, "You're right. I'm not liking the sound of this."

"Infirmary?" Daniel proposed.

"…Yeah."

-

"You're telling me… oh God…you must be joking…" Janet shook her head in denial, "There has to be another way. Drugs, counselling, checking that device, anything…!"

"Apparently its as much psychological as it is biological," Daniel answered reluctantly, "…What I cant believe is that they would forcibly keep the affected woman away from her 'partner' as punishment…I mean, we don't always get to choose who we fall in love with."

"Are you sure there's no other way?" she repeated.

"I don't know. But that's how it was done. Once the woman got what she wanted the effects would vanish…"

"And the first man she saw who she loved?"

"Honestly loved, not convinced themselves that they did," he nodded.

Janet leant back in her chair, in shock, "Okay, I mean, they're on the same team, as long as we keep them apart for set times then she wont start…" she sighed, "that's impossible, we'd never be able to…"

"Where are O'Neill and MajorCarter at this present moment?" Teal'c asked.

"Sam should still be in her Lab, I think the Colonel is attempting to do the stack of paperwork he's behind on…" Janet replied, "I don't know what's better. When they're apart she goes crazy, when they're together she can't control herself."

"And the only solution we have is going to hurt them both," Daniel closed his eyes.

"Do O'Neill and MajorCarter not share a great affection for each other?" the Jaffa frowned, "Will this not be considered an opportunity by them both?"

"…Sam doesn't remember what she does when she…I think we're referring to as 'getting high'…we keep them apart for a while, hopefully she'd remain semi-intoxicated if they had to…"

"And if she doesn't?" Daniel countered.

"Then this doesn't look good."

-

"We have to what!?" Jack shouted across his office at Daniel, fuming.

"Its that or keep splitting the team up and keeping a constant watch on Sam," he replied quietly, "…Or let her go slowly mad. And not just a little crazy."

Jack leant across the desk, slamming a fist down, "Daniel you know full well she doesn't remember what she does when she's high! Its taking advantage! Its like-"

"And if we keep you apart to try and prevent her going 'high'?"

"This is ridiculous! She doesn't know what she's doing and if she doesn't remember… its rape! Its rape, Daniel and I am not doing that to her! I am not hurting her!"

"So you're going to let her lose her mind!?" Daniel shouted back, "I know its not a great prospect and I know you don't want to hurt her, but you don't have a choice! Do you even realise what it means that she attached herself to you!?" 

Jack sat back down, all traces of anger seeming to drain from him, "…I know…but its not right. She's being forced into it. Fair enough if she…of her own choice…" he rested his head in his hands, leaning on the desk and covering his eyes, "…It'll scar her. I know we've all been through one hell of a lot in our lifetimes, but if she doesn't remember and has no control over herself, it'll be rape and it'll hurt her more than anything. She trusts me and I'm not betraying her."

Daniel was silent for several seconds, "…What if she consents?"

"Because she has no choice?"

"Because it's the only way. Because she honestly does love you?"

Jack shook his head, sighing heavily, "…I don't believe this…I can't do this to her…"

"Jack…its that or lose her forever."

-

"…This is a joke…" Sam uttered, "There's got to be another way."

"I said the same thing," Janet answered, "but apparently there isn't."

"But I have no control, I don't know what I'm doing, I cant stop myself-" she started to babble.

The Doctor reached across the table and took Sam's hand, "I know, honey, I know…"

"I can't ask him to…to…" she shook her head, "…and if I don't remember…its asking him to…"

"Sam, its letting your instincts take over or losing your mind," Janet reminded her gently.

"Some choice!" Sam snapped back, "Asking the man I…asking my CO to…sleep with me just so I stay sane!"

"Just so you stay sane?" she repeated, stunned.

"I know what that device is supposed to prove…and I don't deny it, Jan, but we were taking our time! We knew we couldn't do anything about it!"

"Sam…"

"This is such a mess…" Sam whispered, "I'm never touching another piece of alien technology ever again…"

"Promise?" Janet smiled slightly.

A short laugh escaped her, "…Probably not. If I stay sane, that is," she stared at the floor intently, "Does he know what we have to do?"

Janet nodded, "Daniel's talking to him now."

"…I cant. If I was ever going to…I wanted it to be…"

Janet stood up and met Sam halfway across the room in a tight hug, "I know…but think…you get to have admitted it without saying a word."

Sam sighed and held onto her friend tightly, "I wish it were that simple."

-

"So I have the choice of letting my best scientist slowly go insane or let my two best officers both get a court martial for breaking the regulations?" Hammond glanced at Janet and Daniel in turn, hoping for another option to be offered.

"That's it, Sir," Janet nodded, staring straight past him.

"Is there nothing you can do?" Daniel questioned, "If they have to go through with this its going to hurt them enough, but if they have to-"

"Go back to the way things are now its going to hurt them even more," the General sighed.

"Please, Sir," Janet pleaded, "Anything as long as we don't have to make it worse than it already is."  
"…I'll see what I can do," Hammond agreed, "They work too well together," he said pointedly, "to have this ruin their working relationship."

"Yes, Sir," she tried to keep her voice steady.

"I'm not certain I can do anything for sure, and whatever strings I can pull, it could take weeks."

"Anything is better than nothing," Daniel answered, "Anything."

-

"Carter."

She jumped when she heard his voice at the door, trying not to show how worried she was, "Sir."

He slowly approached her, "…I, er…heard about-"

"Yes, Sir," she stopped him.

He took a deep breath, "Carter I don't want to-"

"Its fine, Sir," Sam interrupted again, "I'm sure somebody will come up with something," she gave a short sigh of relief as the pain in the back of her head started to dim.

"That's not what I meant, Sam," Jack replied.

She finally looked across at him, "Sir?"

"…I don't want to do this to you…I don't want to force you…"

"This is my fault, you shouldn't have to do this."

"Carter…you know I-"

"I know," she nodded, "…Me too."

"So…we're going to do this…"

"I-I guess so…" Sam looked away, "But not here," she suddenly stated.

"…My place?"

She shook her head, "My place. At least then, I, erm, feel I have control over something."

Jack nodded, "I'm sorry, Sam."

"…Me too," she repeated.

"If we ever…you know…I wanted it to be-"

"I know," Sam agreed softly, "Believe me…I know."

-


	6. Tonight?

Notes: Meep. Perhaps I've scared people away. In response to what I didn't want to get into, the subject was rape. I'd say this chapter is around **PG-15** – there's nothing graphic – I can't read it, let alone write it. Thank you for the kind comments. 

-

They spent the night in the same room on the base, in separate beds, neither getting any sleep until Sam gave an audible sigh and stood up, crossing to the other side of the room, in complete darkness, seating herself on the floor beside Jack's bed, "…Sir?"

"Sam?" he'd started calling her by her first name whenever he had to speak to her, not wanting her to see him as just her CO, being cold by keeping to military rank.

"…Cant sleep?" she asked.

"You too, huh?"

She nodded, knowing he couldn't see her, resting her head on her knees, "…Yeah."

"You're not about to-"

"No, Sir," Sam answered quickly, "I've still got the headache. And I'm cold."

"Well come here then," he prompted, as if he felt he shouldn't have to say it aloud.

She carefully lay down on the bed beside him, flinching as he drew the blanket back over them and looped an arm around her waist, resting her against him, whilst she tried to stop herself over reacting to his touch. This was nothing compared to…

"…I know, Sam," she could feel his breath on the back of her neck, "…sleep."

She shut her eyes and found herself surprisingly relaxed. But things were going to change. Everything was going to change…and there was nothing she could do about it. Sam closed her eyes more tightly and tried to push all thoughts from her mind as she drifted into a light sleep.

-

She was more than frustrated when Janet appeared the next morning and had to forcibly remove her from the room, claiming she'd found her about to make her feelings very clear to the Colonel again. Two briefings washed over her, most of the time spent staring directly at the table, only speaking when she was spoken to. She left the room without another word, headed straight to her lab, not acknowledging anyone on the way there.

Jack stared after her for a few moments, before he too left the room, silently.

Janet sighed and stood up, feeling utterly useless, though she knew there was nothing she could do, "…Any news, General?" she tried.

"Nothing as of yet, Doctor," Hammond replied, "But believe me, I'm not done yet," he halted halfway out the door, "Are they-"

"If and when Major Carter is free of what is affecting her, I'll inform you, Sir," Janet nodded.

"Very well."

Daniel was still seated at the table, gazing at nothing, "…I could do with a drink right now," he muttered.

"You and me both," she glanced back at him, "They'll pull through this, Daniel."

"How are you so sure?"

Her eyes betrayed her true feelings, "Because they have to."

-

At one o'clock that afternoon, the separation began, Sam attempting to take her mind off it by trying to add to the book she had never had the time to finish. Again, under alien influence. Daniel and Janet took turns sitting with her, trying to keep her distracted, but by late afternoon she was shaking again, accompanied by the now familiar intense pain in her head. She hardly noticed when the Colonel had to help her to the surface and to his truck, so relieved was she just to be in his presence. Once at her place, they ate in silence, watching TV for a couple of hours, occasionally making each other laugh with a random comment thrown in, Sam allowing herself to sit beside him on the couch, practically in his arms, head on his shoulder.

"You feeling okay now?" Jack asked.

She nodded, "Headache is gone. Finally. And look," she held up one hand, "No-" she stopped, seeing her hand betray her and quiver mid-air, "Well I was going to say no shaking…" she finished ruefully, knowing her state of mind to be anything but firm.

He took her hand in his and kissed her forehead, "…Well you're still in control."

She met his gaze, "…For now…" she replied, a tremor in her voice. 

They kept eye contact, seeming to come to an understanding there and then.

With that, Sam nervously took his hand and led him to her bedroom. Once inside, she closed the door, leaning against it for a second, before stepping away, still gripping Jack's hand, and looking up at him, a cross between fear and anticipation on her features. She leaned against him, hiding her face, "…Whilst I know what I'm doing…" she tilted her head and let her lips meet his, gently, breaking away quickly and burying her face against his neck, "…I don't blame you for anything," she said, in barely more than a whisper, "…and if I…lose control…its okay. I trust you…you have to know that…whilst I'm still me…" she finished. Deciding to take control, she began to unbutton his shirt, allowing him to undress her, kissing him softly, slowly, repeatedly, as reassurance.

"…I'm sorry, Sam…" Jack managed, quietly, as she pulled him down onto the bed.

"…Don't be…"

He tried to go slowly, not wanting to be rough with her, but found himself being forced to answer her ardent demands…and then he knew it wasn't _her_, knew it wasn't _her_ in control. Desperately trying to tell himself that he was saving her sanity, it was over all too quickly, the aftershocks still rippling through both their bodies, he opened his eyes to see the glow from around hers pulse once, dim and fade. She lay limply beneath him, head turned away, eyes closed, arms still loosely around him, until he shifted away, not taking his eyes off her, searching her expression for any sign of forgiveness for what he'd done. 

Sam gave a strangled sob, bringing one of her hands to her mouth in a fist to try and stop the sound escaping, eyes tightly shut, tears running down her face as she fought to keep control.

He was gazing down at her in an instant, wracked with a deep feeling of self loathing, "…Oh God, Sam…Sam… I didn't mean…I hurt you…I-"

"…No!" she cried out almost instantly, still not daring to look at him.

"…Then…Sam, I'm sorry…I'm so-"

Sam opened her eyes slowly, shaking her head, "…I don't remember…" she uttered in a hushed whisper, voice shaking, "…I cant remember…" she gazed desperately up at him, "…Make me remember…" she reached out to him, "…make me remember…please…" she begged.

She was too vulnerable, she didn't know what she was saying, Jack shook his head, "Sam…you cant want-"

__

"Please_…" _she whispered again, bringing one hand up to gently slip around his neck,_ "Please…."_

He leant in to kiss her softly, surprised at the passion she returned…and there was something completely different about the way she surrendered herself that he knew…he _knew…_that this time…both their souls were honestly involved.

-

"…I love you…"

He heard the words as a barely audible whisper several hours later, both of them having been drifting in and out of sleep. He stopped tracing gentle circles on her back, trying to look down at her, her head on his chest, one leg wrapped around his, "Sam?"

She didn't move, "Whilst I have the chance…whilst we're here…if this is the only chance I'm going to get…I love you," she repeated, "…because I don't think I can say it once we have to go back…"

"…I'm sorry it had to be this way," Jack answered softly, still immersed in guilt for the first time he'd taken her.

Sam shifted so she could look down on him, "…Stop apologising. Please. I'm just glad…that we could…whilst we both knew what we were doing. If I never wanted to I would have chosen the other option."

"You mean-"

She nodded, "My mind at risk or not; yes. In a heartbeat."

He drew her back to him for a soul shattering kiss, resting his forehead against hers, "I love you."

She closed her eyes and smiled, however briefly, "…I don't think I can go back."

"Me neither," he settled her back against him, "…do you want to deal with it now?"

"No," Sam answered, "We've only got a few hours until dawn," she wrapped one leg back around his and tightened her grip around him, "Don't leave me."

"Never."

-


	7. Morning?

Notes: Thank you for all the reviews. Erm, not a lot to say about this, except I had a blinding headache when I wrote it and still do. Plus, I'm contemplating writing one of the other ways this could have gone too. Plus, those who wanted to see the video I made, there's a link in my profile, seeing as all links get removed from documents uploaded.

-

He awoke the next morning to find a mug of coffee at eye-level, which startled him awake, before he realised it was on the single bedside table. Jack rolled onto his side, expecting to find her still there, only to discover she was gone. Grabbing his clothes from the floor, he hastily dressed, still unable to shake the guilt he felt from he'd had to do.

"…Morning," she said quietly, when he discovered her in the kitchen, back turned to him, kettle in her hand.

"Morning," he replied, mid-yawn, reaching out for her, trying to slip an arm round her waist, stepping away when he felt her flinch and saw her lower her head and close her eyes.

"…I'm sorry," Sam said softly, "…I guess its…"

"Its okay," he nodded, despite desperately wanting to hold her to reassure her in some way.

As if she realised what he was thinking, she placed the kettle down on the counter and practically knocked him over, arms around, still hiding her face, "I'm sorry," she repeated, "…Just don't…avoid me because you think…"

"There's no 'think' about it, Sam, I did."

"If you had, and if I thought you had, I wouldn't be here now. And you certainly wouldn't," she assured him.

Jack looked down at her, holding her away from him for several seconds, hands on her shoulders, "…You don't remember anything?"

"…No."

He sighed, pulling her back against him, resting his head against hers. He'd held her for a long while the previous night, as her sobs abated, though she'd been rather insistent, desperate, for him to take her again, trying to persuade him with every fibre of her being. He'd gently refused until she'd calmed down, when she'd nodded her silent agreement, still shocked that she trusted him enough to be near her, let alone…

"…We're going to be late…" Sam reminded him, reluctantly.

"One day of the year. Stuff anyone who says anything," Jack replied.

"And have everybody whispering? They don't know what the cure was, but half the base saw my performance in the 'Gate room."

"You want me to go now?" he offered.

"…I have to go for a medical," she cringed inside, hoping he wouldn't take it the wrong way.

"About-"

"No. All the scans are being re-done and compared with those before I was affected. Janet has to report to the General as to whether I'm fit for duty or not…what happened…its going to get us a court martial each as it is…"

"And we don't want more evidence circling the base," Jack nodded.

Sam stepped away from him and back to the hot chocolate she was making, "Alien influence has been on our records one too many times. I'm not sure they're going to believe it this time. Once I'm 'fit for duty' we're both in for it…"

"They cant prove anything."

"Can't they?" she looked back over her shoulder, "Cameras on the base, people who saw the 'Gate room fiasco, Daniel had to file a report on his findings, Janet's medical reports…they'll have enough to do whatever they want!"

Jack leant forward and kissed the top of her head, "…Alright. We go in separately, we do our jobs, save the world, then what?"

"…I don't know," she admitted, "But if it has to be this way…I'd rather wait…and know it's a possibility one day, rather than get us both dragged through hell and back."

"We've already been to hell," he laughed quietly.

"You know what I mean," Sam finally smiled, "We see what happens today. Then we make decisions."

"… Okay. On the condition that I get to kick the ass of anyone who makes any stupid comments."

Sam kissed him briefly as she walked pat, "…Deal…but only if you stop feeling guilty."

"Kinda compulsory in this situation," Jack answered quietly.

"I mean what I said last night."

"Doesn't mean I can forgive myself."

She gazed across the kitchen at him, "…I'm the one who lost control. I forgive you. Isn't that enough?"

-

She found herself unable to make eye contact with anybody, once again staring down at the table in front of her. They all knew. She'd been humiliated in more obvious and entertaining ways, but it just felt wrong. The fact that nobody was mentioning it, were all avoiding using certain ways of phrasing things…it was too subtle. In some ways, she'd have preferred that she'd just put a sign up somewhere and let people make up their own minds. Sam was listening, only half interested, in what their next mission, to take place in two days time, was to entail, when suddenly all the noise faded away and she was struck with an image…an image of… she shook her head and ignored it.

Janet noticed the sudden, dismissive, shake of her friend's head, had been watching her for most of the briefing, as a friend, not her doctor. Usually she was dying to know what was involved with her team's next assignment…now she just seemed listless and bored.

Sam tried concentrating, only for the vision to become more intense. It was Jack…and…her…she was kissing him as if her life depended on it…he was reciprocating…and… she gasped involuntarily, blushing furiously, discovering that everyone around the table was staring at her.

"Major?" Hammond frowned.

She stared back for several seconds, before standing, "…I…erm…excuse me, Sir," she turned away and very swiftly left the room, Jack watching her every move, concerned.

"Doctor?" the General turned to her for an explanation.

"…I don't know, Sir…" Janet replied.

"Sir?" Jack gestured in the direction of the door, requesting permission to leave.

Hammond nodded, "Go ahead, Colonel."

"Thank you, Sir," he nodded and practically ran after her.

Once he was out of hearing range, Daniel was asking questions, "Any news, General?"

"I'm still working on it," Hammond answered, "But once any of today's medical reports concerning Major Carter hit my desk, I'm obligated to file my own reports on anything that breaks the regulations."

"…I'm not quite finished, Sir," Janet caught on.

"I may be able to get them out of a court martial, but that could be it. I'm not sure I can get away with anything else."

"Nothing at all?" Daniel sighed.

"Give me until tomorrow, then I'll have to inform them of their court martial dates or the alternative. They took this into their own hands-"

"They had no choice!" Janet protested, remembering herself at the last minute, "…Sir."

"Leave it with me. That's all I can say."

-

He discovered her in his office, sitting perfectly still in one of the chairs, scared expression on her face, still flushed red.

"…Sam?" Jack knelt beside her, "Sam? You okay?" he asked gently.

Sam blinked several times, appearing to break out of a thrall, "…Sir?"

"I think we're beyond 'Sir' here…"

"Sorry…"

"What's wrong?" he pressed.

"Last night…" she uttered.

Jack remained tactfully silent…

"…I think…I remember…" she stopped as her mind was dragged back again.

"Sam, I'm sorry," he answered instantly, about to stand and move away.

"Don't!" she grabbed his hand, "Don't leave me," she left the chair and sat on the floor beside him, "Please."

He hesitated, before drawing her into his arms, holding her tightly, "…Talk about photographic memory…"

- 


	8. Remember?

Notes: Sorry, its been a while since any updates. And sorry again because this is a little shorter than it should/I'd like it to be. But its late and I need sleep. Thank you for reviewing. 

-

He'd guided her back to her quarters, worried, considering she appeared as if she might pass out at any given moment. For several minutes at a time she was unresponsive to the world around her, eyes glazed over, staring into space. Jack set her down on the bed, where she scrambled into the corner, huddled against the wall, as if absolutely terrified. He kept watch over her, catching the brief glances when she realised where she was, somewhat startled when she reached out for him, pleading with her eyes for him to hold her. He did as she asked, and that was the way in which Janet found them fifteen minutes later, both huddled in the corner of Sam's quarters, Sam herself once again in her trance-like state.

"…Sir?" the Doctor called across the room softly, "…What's wrong with Sam?"

Jack moved so he could see over the top of Sam's head, "…She says she remembers. I don't know. She's been like this since I found her in my office. She just said she remembers…last night."

Janet's eyes widened, "…Oh…" she was uncertain of what to say.

He nodded, "…Yeah."

"Well…" she proposed, "When she's relived everything she can't remember I guess she should return to normal. All her tests came back normal, there was only one result out of place, and that was to do with higher brain functions."

Sam chose that moment to briefly return to the present, "…Janet?"

"Sam? You okay?"

"I-" she stopped abruptly and her head lowered.

"I'm not leaving her like this," Jack stated, "She's embarrassed enough as it is. Do me a favour?"

"Anything," Janet answered.

"Go tell Hammond, with as little detail… Tell him we'll be back as soon as possible."

She nodded, with a sympathetic smile, "Yes, Sir," her gaze rested on Sam for a couple of seconds more, before she turned and left, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Jack looked down at the woman in his arms. She had shifted so she was lying across him, once again unresponsive. Lowering his lips to hers, he kissed her lightly, shocked when she brought one hand to gently rest on the back of his neck, responding to his kiss leisurely, reluctantly breaking away and opening her eyes, glancing apprehensively up at him.

"…Sam?"

"…Sir?" she winced, mentally correcting herself, "…I mean…"

"I know," he nodded, suddenly holding her tightly to him.

Sam smiled over his shoulder, "…Thank you."

He frowned, "For what?"

She laughed softly, "For being a gentleman."

Jack raised an eyebrow and held her away from him for a moment, "A gentleman?"

She looked away, blushing, "…I was…erm…rather…insistent."

"Understatement of the century."

Sam hid her face against his shoulder, "…I mean it. Thank you. If this had to happen with anybody, I'm glad it was with you. If I ever behaved like that and was aware of it… You could have taken advantage and you didn't."

He wasn't quite sure how to respond, so he asked a question of her instead, "…How much do you remember?"

"…Just last night…" she admitted.

"So you don't-"

"No."

"Which means-"

"Yes."

"You wanna stay here?" Jack prompted.

She paused, the fearful look returning, "I'd prefer it."

His arms encircled her waist, "How, erm, vivid are these flashbacks?"

Sam looked away, "…Very."

"So you remember everything…"

"Yes…"

-

"Well Doctor?" Hammond asked, as soon as Janet returned to the briefing room.

She sat down, "Major Carter appears to be remembering her actions from when she was under the influence of the alien device."

"…I see."

"…Yes, Sir."

"Any news on the court martial front?" Daniel questioned.

Hammond sighed, "Any regulations I manage to get altered or any special circumstances invoked will have to apply to this whole base, not just Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill. There's enough on their files to draw attention as it is."

"I am sure there will be further officers aside from O'Neill and MajorCarter who would be relieved to see the fraternisation regulations altered," Teal'c offered.

"For now, I'm playing the 'alien influence' card again. Unfortunately, that may only cover Major Carter," the General replied.

"…This is ridiculous…" Daniel uttered, "You cant expect people to work this closely, do the work we do, and not feel anything for each other," his eyes wandered to Janet before he looked back down at the table, "…They, we, cant talk to anyone and speak honestly as it is. What do they expect?"

"…I'm well aware of such issues, Doctor Jackson. If and when my superiors make an issue of this, then it shall be dealt with. If its any assurance, I will do everything in my power to prevent them being dragged through any court martial they dare to attempt," he tried changing the subject, "Where are Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter currently?"

"…In Major Carter's quarters. She's not in a very good state, Sir, Colonel O'Neill is unwilling to leave her and I believe it to be for the best," Janet replied.

The General nodded, "Very well, Doctor."

-

She fell asleep in his arms after several minutes of silence, a proper sleep, he could only hope, that wouldn't involve more flashbacks. If her memories resurfaced through her dreams, she could awaken in a dreadful state.

"…Jack…" Sam mumbled quietly in her sleep.

He looked down at her, a strangely pleased smile on his face.

"…Kiss…" 

Jack laughed softly, opting for kissing her forehead, "…And in your sleep too. Wont catch me out that easily, Sam…"

She was silent for several minutes again, when she twisted and her eyes shut more tightly, "…No…God no…Jack…please no…don't…Jack…please…stop…!"

…And at that moment he just wanted to die.

- 


	9. Fall Out?

Notes: Thank you for all the reviews. And erm, yeah, I may have written Jack like an ass for some of this, but I think _both_ of them have their reasons. Thank you to Natasha for helping me with this yesterday. ^^ :::hugs:::

-

She awoke to find herself alone, half slumped against the single pillow on the plain bed. Sam yawned and glanced around, expecting to find him somewhere in the room, if not with her on the bed. About to stand up and search, her vision became blurred and she caught another image, memory through her own eyes, of simply gazing down at the sleeping form of Jack, before a hand grabbed her wrist and took her from the room. Sighing, she fell back on the bed and decided to remain there until her mind returned to normal. Or as normal as it got for her. Where had he gone? Why had he left?

-

"Jack!" Daniel shouted after his friend as the older man strode down the corridor, head down, hands in his pockets.

"Daniel," he answered tonelessly.

He frowned, "What's wrong?" the archaeologist caught up with him.

"Nothing whatsoever," Jack tried.

"So why do you look like a kid who just got his candy taken from him?"

__

"Because I've had my self respect, heart and any sense I formerly had of being a good person taken from me, that's why," he thought bitterly. Jack remained silent and didn't look up.

"How's Sam?"

"Sleeping."

"…Does she remember?" Daniel asked.

"Yes, Daniel, she remembers," Jack replied, exasperated, he practically slammed open the door to his office, "She remembers perfectly," he looked back at Daniel, "I got a lot of paperwork to finish," he walked straight inside the room, the door swinging shut behind him.

Daniel blinked, "…I thought remembering would be a good thing," he informed the door.

-

"Hey," Sam opened the door to his office slightly, a small smile on her face, "Where did you go?"

"…Thought I'd better catch up on the paperwork," Jack didn't look up.

"Need a hand?" she offered.

"I'm fine, thanks."

She frowned at the coldness of his tone, closing the door and sitting down in the free seat, "…You said you wouldn't leave me."

"I thought it was for the best," Jack replied, "Have anymore flashbacks?" he questioned in what he hoped was a conversational tone. 

She nodded briefly, "…Sorry about that too. I think I've remembered everything now. At least, I hope I have…"

"…That's good."

Sam paused, "…Why did you leave? I reported to the General and he said you were here…"

Jack still wouldn't make eye contact, "Just felt I should leave."

"Why?" she pressed.

He was silent, focused on the paper in front of him.

"Why? Tell me," Sam insisted.

He put the pen down and finally looked up at her, "…Do you ever talk in your sleep?"

She regarded him with a confused expression, "…Its been known. Mark used to tease me about it."

Jack sighed, "…Let's just say you revealed what's really on your mind."

"…What did I say…?"

He looked away, "…You were protesting. Begging somebody to stop. Begging me to stop."

Sam's eyes widened and she couldn't wipe the horrified look off her face, "…Oh God…But-"

"Yeah, like that," he muttered.

"Stop!" she exclaimed, "What are you trying to tell me? I don't think of last night like that! I wouldn't have ever asked you to…again… I know it wasn't a situation we'd want to repeat-"

"Evidently one you wouldn't want to repeat," Jack interrupted.

"…I don't even remember what I dreamt! I've never remembered my dreams! The only time I ever do is when its Jolinar's memories and not mine!" she protested.

"Carter-"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Oh I trust _you_, Sam, but obviously _you_ don't trust _me_."

Sam stood up, "Come on _Jack_, what are you trying to say here?"

"I'm saying that maybe you should think this over before-"

"How can you hold me responsible for something I said when I wasn't in control of my own mind!?" she shouted.

"I'm not holding you responsible!" he shot back, "I'm just stunned that you can say and insist didn't think of it like that when we both know that somewhere you obviously weren't and are not at all comfortable with it!"

"I cant believe you're saying this…" Sam took several steps back, "You're saying I think you… I told you I don't remember what I dream! I've never remembered! If I honestly thought of it that way I wouldn't let you anywhere near me!"

"Well maybe that's for the best!" he snapped.

She stared at him, a hurt expression on her face, "…If that's what you want…" she said softly, retreating to the door, opening it and then shutting it neatly, quietly, behind her. 

-

"Sam?" Janet called from the door to Sam's lab, "Sam? Honey?"

She shook herself from her daze and replied, "Heya Jan."

"What's wrong?" the Doctor took a seat on the opposite side of the lab bench.

"…Oh. Nothing," Sam tried.

"…Sam, don't lie to me."

"Its not my fault!" she sprang up from her seat, "Its not my damn fault!" she started pacing, "Okay, I touched that alien device, so it really is my fault, but how was I to know!?"

Janet rested her head on her arms, affecting a calm disinterest, "Know what?"

"I still talk in my sleep."

"You tend to scream, actually. Especially when you've been injured."

"Well I didn't mean to say it!" Sam snapped.

"What?" Janet frowned.

She sighed and reclaimed her seat, "He says that I was crying out for him to stop. That I think he raped me…"

"…Do you think he did? Even just suspect at the back of your mind?"

"Jan, I was in control right up until I went 'high'. _I _took him to my bedroom, _I_ started it…" she grimaced, "and that's probably more information than you ever wanted."

"Sam, whatever you might think, it was still a form of traumatising experience. You can deny it all you want, but you cant just click your fingers and recover from it."

"But-"

"Talk to him," Janet stood up, "But you have to report to General Hammond now."

"Oh no…"

"I don't know. Just try and accept whatever he says…"

-

"Colonel, Major."

"Sir," Sam nodded.

"General," Jack wouldn't look her in the eye.

"I'm sure you will both be pleased to know that no court martial has been applied for, concerning either of you," Hammond began, "Once again alien influence played a major part in the decision, but also that fact that there is no proof and no evidence, as it were," he glanced at Sam, who had her arms folded across her chest and was staring intently at the floor, "However, I warn you that SG-1 is already being closely watched by my superiors and now the two of you will come under even closer scrutiny."

"Yes, Sir," Jack answered.

The General certainly didn't like the atmosphere in the room, "I wont pry further into your personal lives, all I will tell you is to be careful," he handed a file over to Jack, "Your next mission is in two days, as you have already been briefed," he looked at each of them again, concerned, "…Dismissed."

"Thank you, Sir," Sam replied and without further words or actions, abruptly left the room.

Jack let out a quiet sigh and shook his head.

"…I take it relations are strained between yourself and Major Carter," Hammond commented quietly.

"I've been an ass, Sir," Jack exhaled, "and that's one hell of an understatement."

-


	10. Enough?

****

Notes: Firstly, I have to say thank you so much for the support throughout writing this, all the reviews and the e-mails. As I said before, the subjects in this I hated writing about and I still feel absolutely awful for doing it; this fic was never meant to take that path. I have to ask, does anybody want to see the way this was supposed to turn out? As in the humour version? Because if you do, I'm more than happy to write it. Just give me time – I have a lot of work for my A2s. Thanks again. 

-

Hammond sighed, "I know what she means to you, Jack. And I know it must be killing you."

Jack nodded mutely, with a helpless shrug.

"You shouldn't have to give her up," the General continued. He sat back down behind his desk, grabbing the phone handset with a determined glare at the inanimate object and at Jack, "Something _will_ be done," he stated, "Even if I have to go all the way to the President's Office. Hell, if it weren't for SG-1 he wouldn't even _have_ an office."

Jack blinked several times in shock, "General?"

"Leave it with me. Dismissed," Hammond nodded.

"Yes, Sir," he replied. If that wasn't a shred of hope…what was? Not that he had any idea what to do with it…or with himself. Or her.

-

Sam was working steadily, not truly concentrating, in her lab, torn between angry and devastated, when the source of her mood walked cautiously in, almost hiding behind the door for a couple of seconds, before stepping fully into the room.

"I'm sorry," he simply stated.

"I don't want your apology," she didn't look up from her experiment.

"Carter-"

Sam gave him a savage look and waved him silent, turning round to flick several of the switches on the device behind her, before she took a black cloth from the drawer below and threw it over the CCTV camera in the corner of the room, flicking another switch, "Frequency jams the camera, that blanks it."

"…You do that often?" Jack tried.

"Only when I want people to think I've stopped working," she shrugged and returned to the lab bench.

"…I'm sorry," he repeated.

Sam shook her head, "I said I don't want your apology."

"Then-"

"Just stop trying to make out this is all your fault. Its mine too, and not just what I said in my sleep. I touched the device and it was my feelings for you that started this anyway-"

"And I'm not allowed to return them?" Jack questioned in a harsh voice.

"I don't want to be the cause of your pain," she replied, looking away, "I made you do something you didn't want to do-"

"Whether I had a choice or not, I wanted to help you, I wanted to save your mind! Whether you could or can trust me-"

"I had to surrender myself to the one I trust above all others, I trust you without question but don't you dare tell me that you've ever trusted _anybody_ without a word of doubt in your mind _somewhere!_ Even your family!" Sam challenged.

"Look, you are perfectly entitled to think I-"

"Why would I ask, or, if I remember correctly, practically beg you to make love to me if I thought it was rape!?" she exclaimed.

"Oh, 'making love' you can call it that now, after you've been heard begging me to stop!" Jack countered.

"You are such-"

"Come on, Sam, just say it!" he shouted.

"Why would I call it making love? You want to know!? You really want to know!?" Sam shouted, "Because I love you, get it!? _I love you_, and if you _cant_ see that then you really are a bigger ass than I thought!!" she strode to the door to open it, when he grabbed her arm, "Get your hands off me!"

"Well what the hell do you want from me!?" Jack shouted back at her, "What am I supposed to do? I don't touch you because I don't want to hurt you and when I _do _touch you, you tell me to stay away from you!"

"I want you to understand!"

"How about you try understanding that you're not the only one who went through this! How do you think I felt having to do that to the woman I love!? What do you think that did to me!? I cant forgive myself and you can't forgive me either!" he paced the length of the lab and stayed at the back of the room.

"I told you I forgive you! I told you that from the start!" she protested.

"Or were you just telling me what I wanted to hear? Telling somebody you forgive them and actually forgiving them are different things," Jack answered in a low voice.

"You're telling me I lied to you now?" 

"I'm not trying to tell you anything! I'm trying to explain that you can say you forgive me all you want, but I cant forgive myself. I'll smile and laugh and joke, be good ol' Jack O'Neill, but I know what I did and I know that somewhere in your mind you hold me responsible for your trauma. Which you have every right to do," he continued.

Sam looked away, was silent for several seconds, before she looked back up and across the room at him, "I love you. And I trust you, I would die for you," she said coldly, "Isn't that enough?"

__

"…I'm the one who lost control. I forgive you. Isn't that enough?"

He stared, blinking several times, expression softening, "…Sam?…What's happening to us?"

"…What are we doing…?" she uttered quietly, "…If we can't even…what's the point…why are we…"

Jack slowly approached her, "Because we care too much…"

"…We're going to destroy each other if this continues…" she whispered.

He stood opposite her, "…Enough…"

"…Enough," Sam nodded, reaching out for his hands, taking them and moving them to her waist, "…We're both to blame. We got too caught up in who-"

"Hurt who more," Jack finished, resting his head on hers. He tightened his arms around her, "…I need you."

"…I know. I can't go on like this…" she admitted softly, "…Where do we go from here…?"

He looked down at her and answered honestly, "…I don't know."

-

Fin

****

There will be an epilogue.

Thank you to Natasha and Josie for letting me panic to you and to everybody at college (Claire, Rini, Laura, Harriet, Ruth, KJ and Al, even though she had no idea what I was going on about!) who put up with my wailing and reassured me. (Yes, you guys can read it now!)


	11. Epilogue

****

Infatuation: Epilogue

__

Major General George Hammond,

Having read the reports from numerous members of the SGC, including the two officers involved, I admit I am most concerned about the state of affairs. With your recent information regarding the 'threat of resignation' regarding Colonel Jack O'Neill, I am afraid you leave me no choice but to take action.

I am hereby ordering you to turn a blind eye to anything remotely involving a relationship between Major Samantha Carter and Colonel Jonathon O'Neill. We are by no means the only two individuals who know about their supposed 'fraternisation', but we are_ perhaps the only two who can stop it going further. They've risked themselves enough for this world, to save lives; its time they were allowed to have lives of their own._

I am sure there will be no letters of protest regarding these orders?

The President of The United States of America.

-

He was shrugging off his jacket, two days later, letting it fall to the floor, wishing he could just lie back on the bench in the middle of the locker room and just sleep for a week. Jack sat down and exhaled, closing his eyes, lying back and hoping nobody would catch him sleeping on the job. No such luck. He heard the door swing open and shut in a matter of seconds, followed by quiet footsteps. Giving in, he kept his eyes closed, knowing that whoever it was would have better sense than to wake a sleeping Colonel. Especially a sleeping Colonel O'Neill. Jack remained absolutely still, wondering why he could no longer hear the footsteps, only to be shocked 'awake' by the feel of another's lips on his. Brown eyes shot open and stared into blue depths as stunned as he was.

"…Carter?" 

Sam tried to stop herself smiling, "…I thought you were asleep."

Jack sat up, "Really?" he questioned, teasing her.

She sat down on the bench beside him, "No," she laughed quietly, "You were breathing too fast."

"And how would you know how fast I should have been breathing?"

"…Is it a bad thing to say I watch my CO in his sleep?"

Jack hung his head and grinned, "I stand corrected."

She nudged him gently, "Nice save, by the way."

He sighed, "…Could've done more."

"And lose a lot more men in the process."

"Doesn't make it right," Jack mumbled.

"We did what we could," she assured him, "That's all we can ever do," Sam rested her head against his, "…All we can do…" she repeated softly, sighing to herself.

He nodded mutely, silently accepting her words.

She suddenly turned her head, kissing him soundly, pulling him closer, showing no intention of stopping, until he broke away, eyes wide.

"…Sam?" Jack held her at arms length, hands gripping her shoulders.

"…What?" she uttered.

It took several more seconds for him to form a reply, "…You know what you're doing?" he pressed.

Sam frowned, "…Of course I do…"

"You're not-"

"'High'?" she had to laugh, "No," she shook her head.

"…Oh…" was all Jack could seem to find to reply with.

"Its gone from my system, you know that…"

"…Just making sure!" he protested.

"Believe it or not, I don't need that drug in my system to-"

Jack covered her mouth with his to stop her finishing her sentence, gently shifting her so she sat in his arms, against him, almost possessively. 

"…You want to come over tonight?" Sam whispered.

"Are you su-"

"Yes."

"…Why?" he couldn't believe he'd just asked that question…

She smiled, her lips barely millimetres from his, "…I want you to make me remember."

-

****

Fin


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